Free Ya’ Mind

“you want fame?.. here is where you start paying.. in sweat!”

The famous line from the famous movie, back when we all wanted FAME and good fortune. “Pay in SWEAT.”

You gotta pay! The price of “fame” and “Glory” come with a hefty fee.

I just keep thinking back to my ancestors, those enslaved, those marginalized, those hidden from the history books. The ones who worked tirelessly, without pay or benefits – to never have reached the Glorious Pinnacle of success. Of riches and recognition.

Just yesterday, I had a talk with a dear friend, who thought it supportive to point out my desire to play it “safe”, to not “push” myself past my (internalized) limitations. Apparently, I give up after the first failed attempt, I complain and emphasize the amount of effort/energy it takes for me to show up and get by. I’d rather slow down if I get tired. Step back when I face unresolved difficulty. I’d rather feel bad that things aren’t going my way, instead of positively working towards finding beneficial solutions.

Is that all true??… I mean, is that ALL? 🤔

How about my emotional compass turning me towards “not giving a fuck” every chance it gets. The internal “nonchalantness” kicks in when I’ve tried something, failed and told to try again. “You have so much potential”.. but you waste it on “getting distracted”, “losing focus”, and allowing “emotions” to shape your behavior and response mechanics.

Yet, I have such “positive energy”. I can hold intelligent conversations. I can listen to understand instead of listening only to respond. I can tap into the emotional vibe of others, building connections, beyond my natural desires to self isolate or self sabotage.

I have natural abilities to understand or ponder philosophical and spiritual concepts. I can create ART and write masterpieces.

If only, I didn’t give up so easily. If only, I had the emotional ability to forge ahead of the failures and lack of resources. If only..

In a perfect storyline, my parents would have supported my creative gifts, would have put me in the best art schools. I would have been given the opportunities to work for the right people, pushing my creative career towards success. But what if, that DID happen? What if I rose to prominence, success and fame – all off the backs of my undying efforts and God-given talent?

Then, would I still be able to sleep at night? Could I live with the judgmental words of a society that holds my success in their hands? Could I wake up everyday, afraid to face the demons in my own mind? Would I take the privilege of seeking help and actually turn my life around?

For so many of our beloved Artists and Entertainers, the struggle to be human has far surpassed the struggle to be “GREAT”. Anyone can take some singing or dancing lessons, hone their natural skills into an economic success and rise to fame. But the price of “fame” and “fortune” and “success” seems to take your peace of mind, sense of Self and your ability to redefine yourself – for the betterment of your own human experience.

Instead, we want to be entertained. We want to be enticed by wealth and privilege and we are willing to do ANYTHING to get there.. as if THAT is the real purpose to our existence. Is that why the su*cide rate has gone up SIGNIFICANTLY over the last 20 years??

More and more folks would rather die or push themselves towards exhaustion/extinction, than to simply rest and take things easily. No, we have to plunder and pillage and build empires – over and over and over again.

In a world where music executives, world leaders and Entertainers can use their power and privilege and success, to cause harm or trigger trauma, while remaining widely known and accepted, how do we still hold success and FAME so high on the totem poll? After all the lives we lost or were harmed as a result?

Yeah sure, shit happens to the BEST of us.. but Whitney was struggling with drug addiction WAY before she was deemed “the Voice of her generation.” We tried to make Amy go to rehab but even THAT didn’t work. Michael needed help to sleep after long rehearsal hours and Robin, well he couldn’t quiet the voices in his mind.

So what does success and fame really mean, if you evolve into a lesser version of yourself in order to reach or achieve the level you desire? What does it mean when I remain unemployed after several attempts at work placement, successfully earning a degree and collecting government handouts? Does it mean that all I’d have to do is prove how great of a writer I am?..or show how well I can speak and intelligently express myself..? Does it mean that if I can focus on my creative purpose, work so hard that I become unrecognizable, that I’ll then be given the assistance and support I lack?

Does it mean my family will never have to “want” for anything ever again? Does it mean that political shifts and governments will no longer define me?

Or does it mean that my story has been hijacked by an envious entity; wanting all our successes and Glory and cultural significance to be sucked up into a void. What will happen once we’ve forced the planet into an apocalypse and all the money and entertainment in the world won’t get us on the next space ship outta here. What then?

Will we be forced to live out our last days as a meaningless existence that finally reached the tipping point? Will we ever understand our beautiful duty to this corner of the universe, before it’s too late?

What will be the price we pay to reach our ultimate Glory?

🚶🏾‍♀️…

X.